Brief Update...(101 in 1001)

Hey everyone!

Let's get right to it...

First, JNo, a peace wreath is a festive holiday wreath, made into a peace sign. (Garland strung down and through it, rather artfully to create a beautiful--and timely!--peace sign.) It's awesome.

Second, as my title alluded to, I am thinking about participating in what I think is quite possibly one of the coolest internet memes I've ever seen: 101 in 1001. You can check it out here. The idea, in a nut shell, is that you make 101 achievable, measurable, challenging goals that you will accomplish in 1001 days. If I start it on January 1, 2008, I would have until September 28, 2010 to complete all of my tasks.

So, while this is a highly personal and introspective task, I would like to solicite suggestions from all of you as to goals that I can set for myself. Between now and 1/1/08, I plan on coming up with the actual master list, and setting it down in stone (figuratively--that's not going to be one of my goals!!) here on my blog.

So....suggestions?!

thanks!

Tommy

...it's beginning to look....

a lot like Christmas!

Bibi, Grace, and I had an unbelievably productive--and busy!!--weekend. We got started Friday by hanging out with my sister, which was a lot of fun.

Saturday we got a kind of a late start, but ended up getting almost all of our Christmas shopping done, including a wreath project that Bibi has undertaken (it's a gorgeous "peace wreath", and it's awesome) and our new family Christmas tree. Which, is a bit big. Actually, it's HUGE. We had no idea how tall 7 and a half feet tall is, but I'm now aware that 7 1/2 feet is actually 19 feet. Did you know that? I didn't.

Anyway, last night, when we were done shopping, we watched "Knocked Up" which was great. The last scene was SO damn true. I seriously drove home at 12 miles an hour. Good times.

Then, last night, Bibi cut my hair. And, while cutting my hair, we found out I have ringworm. On my damn head.

What the hell?!

Anyway, so this morning I got up and went to do some grocery shopping, pick up the tree we had purchased yesterday, (which wouldn't fit in the car with Bibi, Grace, and me) and get a hair cut at the barber shop to fix what Bibi had done. (She did really well, but she's never cut hair before, so it needed a little "finishing.") This afternoon we watched "Sicko" (which was FANTASTIC--we're moving to either Canada, Britain, or France, by the way) and then we got going with the Christmas.


We made some hot cocoa, got out a plate of cookies, and put on my Christmas music. We lit a bunch of candles. We then put together the 19 foot tree, the lights, the decorations, and my Nativity Scene.

It now looks--and smells!-- like Christmas.

Welcome, I say.

How are you all getting ready for the season?

Thanks for stopping by!

Tommy

NaBloPoMo--Rest in Peace.

Ah, the best laid plans, the road to....well, you get the idea. Posting every day in November? Shyeah, right.

So, something kind of amazing just happened.

But first, back story.

I've mentioned once or twice how night time can be challenging in our house, as Grace really loves her mama, (I know she loves me) and can often times only be consoled by Bibi. Well, while it is silly, and pointless, this stings. It stings--a lot. However, over Thanksgiving--which was wonderful--I got to spend lots of time with my daughter (boy, is that still weird, or what!?) and it was fantastic. I really felt like she was getting more comfortable around me, more used to me, and that I was really growing closer to her. It was great!

Then, yesterday, after a really hard day at work, I came home and Grace pratically screamed every time I came near her. I know it doesn't signify some great and permanent change, like she'll never be held by me again, but it was hard. And, last night, as I was trying to get Grace calmed down, things just weren't clicking. So, Bibi suggested that we read "Goodnight Moon", which is Gracie's "Favorite Book." (I'm thinking to myself, yeah, how can a kid who isn't even six months old have a favorite book?!) So, we lie down in bed, Bibi nursing Gracie, and me propped up against the wall, and I begin reading. About page 2, Grace pulls away from Bibi and stops nursing to...get this...look at the pictures as I read them. She stared intently at the pages as I read them, and then, when the book was done, she went right back to nursing.

It was awesome--my daughter takes after me!! She's a reader!!! (c;

Well, now to the amazing part.

Today, after a slightly better day at work, Grace was a lot more comfortable around me. She didn't flail her arms about in an attempt to get me to pass her to Bibi. I was feeling good; 'til the end of the night. Bibi and I had put Gracie down on the bed, and she was asleep. We were getting some things done, and Bibi was working. Gracie started crying, so I went to get her, and I picked her up. Not only did she continue crying, she literally was pushing herself away from me, and looking around for Bibi.

That sucked.

However, after just a few minutes, Bibi suggested we try reading to her again. I quickly agreed, having seen some degree of success with that last night.

We got into our positions, but I was laying next to Gracie, while she was nursing with Bibi. I began reading, and not two pages in, Gracie stopped nursing, looked at me, and smiled at me, really big. It felt really good. But!!! It doesn't end there; no, you see, Gracie kept looking back and forth between Bibi and I, smiling at each of us, for just a few more pages. And then she rolled towards me, sort of grabbed onto my arm, and began switching back and forthe between the pages of the book and me, smiling the whole time.

After the book was over, I kind of jokingly asked Gracie, "Gracie, do you like it when Daddy reads to you?" and...to both Bibi's and my surprise, Gracie quickly nodded her head 3 or 4 times, as if she was responding to my question.

Constantly, completely, and thoroughly, I am amazed by Grace.

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

This moment brought to you by Joe Firstman...

So, earlier this evening, while Bibi and I were attempting to enjoy a relaxing evening watching episodes of the Sopranos, and just "chillin' out", as the kids say, something really cool happened.

Gracie had been a bit fussy, throughout the evening; she had not really napped at all during the day, so she was kind of feeling the effects of that this evening. (It should be stated that Grace responds MUCH better to Bibi's attempts to un-fussify her than to mine.) Bibi had been putting forth a valiant effort, but to very little success. Bibi has also been feeling a bit under the weather, and had had a REALLY busy day trying to get the word out about our new (and TEMPORARY!!) dog, so she was feeling kind of beat after trying to calm Grace's nerves. She asked me if I wouldn't mind taking a shot. I said of course not, and I took Grace. We started walking up and down the hall and through the living room, while Bibi started a load of dishes; I decided to put on some music, and attached my iPod to the stereo; and chose, after some deliberation, Grace's soundtrack, which, if you don't remember, Bibi and I put together shortly after Grace was born. We were walking, I was swaying, and I was kind of singing to Grace as we went, when our (Bibi and I) song came on. It's a song by Joe Firstman, called, "Car Door (Dancing in the Aisles)" and we used to listen to it driving down to Kansas City together shortly after we got married. It's, on a very basic level, about a couple who is unblelievably happy together, and about how special little moments together are. Well, it just kind of struck me, as songs are wont to do, how amazingly blessed I am, as I stood their dancing with my beautiful daughter, watching my wife, and I started to get a little choked up (ok, I started bawling) and as the tears began (gushed) Gracie put her hand on my neck and started to pull herself to me, in a sweet little hug.

Nothing--nothing!--could ever compare to that feeling. It is, in a word, amazing. The title of this blog could not BE more appropriate.

God bless everyone, and have a wonderful weekend....

Thanks for stopping by.

Tommy

Thursday Night Lights

So, I have to concur with JNo about the media portrayal of the presidential election; although, I would have to go on to say that it's not just the media, but the whole election process. At first I was excited about this election being between the rock stars of the political realm (Guiliani, Clinton, Obama, Edwards, and eventually Fred Thompson. However, I'm now seeing the error of my hopes; I no longer want some rock star to be running; I want someone who really has something to say, and isn't afraid to say it. There are things I like a whole lot about Obama, but he's really just not getting where he needs to be...I think my dad is right, and he probably should have waited til 2012; he would have had more experience, and I think he would have just been a whole lot more savy all around.

At this point, I really want somebody unexpected to jump out there and WOW us with depth and content, as well as poise and dignity. (It seems to me that the Repub's have "calm and collected" down, and the Dem's have "passionate and whiny" down. Gotta change that.)

So, we are less than a year away...and only a few weeks (well, 7 0r 8 til the first primaries, anyway) from the primaries...should we stop talking/thinking/hearing about next year's election, or should we get all into a frenzy?

You tell me...

Thanks!

Tommy

Just a quickie...

So, as I posted the other day, there are certain things that I don't really feel I can post about; my job, mainly, is one of them. Today was a prime reason why I don't post as often as I should.

There were things that happened at work that I WANT to post about, but I just can't post about them.

So, there.

I voted today. One year from now is the presidential election. I wonder when the news sites are going to start talking about that....

Rufus, our new dog, is doing quite well. Leo loves having a playmate, and he's very well behaved. Well, he's well behaved for the most part. Leo knows not to beg for food; he knows not to chew; and he is AMAZINGon the leash. Rufus? Not so much.

We took him to the vet to see if he has a microchip; no such luck. So, now we're going to make up signs to post around the neighborhood to try to find his owner. I REALLY hope we find them soon, because our house? DEFINITELY not big enough for this many people/pets.

Tomorrow is hump day...got any plans?

(Somebody PLEASE send topic suggestions SOON!!!!)

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

RANT ALERT!! (with self-disparaging realization near the end...)

So, last night when Bibi and I were watching tv, I saw what is, in my opinion, the WORST thing that tv, and corporate America, does....start Christmas adverts TOO early.

No! No! No!!! I mean it here, I'm not kidding around! The rule is, and I take this VERY seriously...NO Christmas advertising until AFTER Thanksgiving!!! There is a REASON that the Thanksgiving Day parade ENDS with Santa Claus...THAT is the official start of the CHristmas Season, and not a damn day before, ok!? Are you listening out there?

So, today, after having all of those angry thoughts run through my head, I decided that I would start making a list of books that I want for Christmas.

Readers Everywhere--A hypocritesayswhat?!

Me--What?

Readers Everywhere--Exactly.

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

Mulligan for Tommy

Yeah, that's what I call yesterday. I get a do-over. For those of you who don't know, NaBloPoMo is National Blog Posting Month, in which people who are overly optimistic and have no realistic sense of their own schedule, commit to posting once a day, every day, for the whole month of November.

Me?

I last two days.

So, I call Mulligan. I get to start over. It's pretty neat when you make up your own rules.

Anyway, so yesterday was the first Saturday in a long time that Bibi and I didn't have anything pressing we had to do...we were going to have dinner with some friends, but he got sick (which was good, b/c I wasn't feeling all that well, either) and so we ended up getting tons of stuff done around the house, and still finding time to watch lots of Soprano's on DVD. (Bibi loves the show, and I'm learning to love it; it's quite good, actually.)

And today we got up and had breakfast with Bibi's parents after I watched Fred Thompson look like a deer in the headlights on Meet the Press. Dave, I know you think he's going to get the nomination, but...seriously, what the hell, man? I honestly don't think he evern knew what Tim Russert was asking half the time, let alone what the answers should have been. But that's just me.

This afternoon Bibi and I made chilli and cornbread, and had my sister over for an early dinner. I don't want to sound arrogant, but I do make a damn good chilli, if I do say so myself. (And, incidently, I do.) Actually, the only thing better than my chilli, is Bibi's cornbread. So, yeah, it's a pretty darn good meal. (I have no idea why I decided to censor myself there, and nowhere else....strange, isn't it?)

Anyway, the last thing I want to comment on here is that tonight while walking Leo, we got ourselves another dog. Well, atleast for now. This beautiful brindle dog came flying out of nowhere, about half way through our route. At first, I'll admit, I was afraid...I was petrified...sorry, anyway, it was kind of scary, this brindle boxer/pit-bull animal came flying at me, and it started jumping around Leo. Now, my neighborhood is notorious for allowing their dogs to run free and loose. It pisses me off, to be honest. I live about half a block from a MAJOR thoroughfare, and we see TOO many dead animals along it to let our dog roam free. So, as I was saying, this dog runs at Leo and me, starts jumping around, and I got mad. I looked at the houses around where I was, and practically shouted "what the hell is wrong with this neighborhood?!" (My sister volunteers for animal cops and tells us horror stories about people mistreating--to put it mildly--their pets, and allowing your pet to run free this close to Sterling, really got me riled up). Well, I looked at him, and I realized that he was really playful, and quite sweet. So, I said to him, "Sit", and he did! So, I started walking back towards our house, and I said one time, "come!" and he followed me all the way home. I showed him to Bibi, and she agreed that it would be horrible to let him just run loose, so we put Leo's kennel in the garage, (we don't know if he has fleas or not) and tomorrow after work I'll take him to a vet to see if he has been microchipped. In the meantime, he's cute as a bug in a run, and very well-mannered. (I'm going to try and convince Bibi we should be able to keep him...shh! Don't tell her!! Oh, and, Bibi...if you're reading this...ignore that last part!!!)

All right, well, that's how our weekend was...how was yours?

Tommy

Just under the wire...

Hey ya'll!

So, how's it going?

Today was the end of another work week...had some interesting experiences at school today, which brings me to the topic of tonight's post....no, it's not the interesting things that happened today, or this week, for that matter. I want to write about strangeness of not being able to talk to all of you about something that takes up a good third of every day. The vagueness that that kind of post would require would render the post nearly meaningless, and that is something I would kind of like to avoid. You know, meaninglessness. (I think I'm just going to add a suffix to that word in every sentence of this post, in a meaninglessnessly kind of way....nope, that one didn't work--damn.)

Anyway. My point is, that I can't really write about the thing that takes up MOST of my time, the thing that is the most eventful of all the things in my day.

Of course, there is Grace....but, well, it's weird. She's wonderful, and amazing, and I'm constantly in awe of how much she is changing and growing...but, I don't know how to put in to words what I am thinking when it comes to her....while I am fairly satisfied with my skills as a writer, and I think I have a decent vocabulary and grasp of the English language, when it comes to writing about Grace, everything I write seems so flat, so static, so....lackluster that it really isn't worthy of the subject.

And, books? Well, happily, I no longer have the time I once did to read. Whereas I used to read at least one book a week, now it is taking me multiple weeks to slowly get through one. (I say happily, not because I don't WANT to read anymore, but I certainly do enjoy that which is now taking up my time.)

So. There we have it....the point of this post is....I want very much to keep posting, but I don't know what exactly to post about....

Any suggestions?

Anybody else think that Kucinich and his alien encounters STILL make him a better candidate that most of the others?

Talk amongst yourselves....

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

NaBloPoMo

At my better half's request, I am participating in National Blog Post Month, along with her. We'll see how well that goes. Stay tuned, to see how quickly this best laid plan falls apart. (c;

Two things: One, an update on one of my recent posts. I was listening to NPR today, and there was a story about Juvenile offenders, and how they are treated througough the country. An interesting article, in light of my recent musings on the justice system and correctional system. Apparently, two states can easily demonstrate the differing ways to view young adults and children in "the system". Do we treat them like the hardened criminals they appear to be, or do we treat them like children and young adults who they also appear to be.

In Missouri, which this NPR segment was about, the recidivism rate was 7.something, while in Texas, the rate was topping 50%. Take a WILD guess as to how the different states treat their offenders.

What was cool about this segment, though, was that the program that I've been getting trained in was very similar to the one being described. (So, I've got SOME reason to believe--other than my own personal experience--that this plan is going to work!)

And, second, I'm reading a really interesting book right now, that I wanted to share with you all. I'm not done yet, so I can't quite say that it's going to be up there with, say, the Bible, Blue Highways, or Lamb, but it's pretty interesting so far; it's called "Last Night I Dreamed of Peace". It is the diary of a North Viet Nam civilian doctor assigned to work in a clinic in southern Viet Nam during the Viet Nam war. It's just really interesting to see her point of view and to learn about what some of the "enemy" were thinking about us during that confusing and controversial time. (And, as I always find is true, there are some poignant and pointed connections to be made with what is going on in the world today.)


The thing that is so interesting, is the way this woman viewed the Americans; to her, we were this horrible country that was trying to do some horrible things to her countrymen and family. The language she uses, the way she describes her hopes and fears; I've never heard or read a member of a communist party, and it is truly different. I feel very naive and very ethnocentric when I read about how she puts the welfare of her fellow citizens above that of her own. (Our soldiers most certainly do that, and should be shown our gratitude and thanks on a regular basis for all that they do; however, she was a CIVILIAN, not a soldier; how many of us who are NOT in the army adhere to that kind of "greater good/interconnectivity mindset?) It makes me a little more aware of how selfish I can be, and how selfish our society can be.

What are you all's thoughts? Anyone scared I'm reading a communist text? Is this going to get the Dept. of Homeland Security buzzing around on me?

If anyone has thoughts...drop 'em off here...

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

I had this really thought-provoking and intriguing post that I had planned on putting up tonight; it was a post that was sure to inspire and anger, to irritate and fluster; a post that would cut you all to the quick, and make you all write responses that were both insightful and honest, responses that would fully address the state of the human condition.

But, instead I thought I'd put this...




There she is...my little blessing from above. Grace: Unmerited Favor.

Yup.

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

A seemingly random post...

So, through a seemingly connected string of events, I've had something odd on my mind lately. And, with an explanation as prologue, I have a question for all of you. Perhaps this will repeat my hit post of last season on education, perhaps not.

Here it is.

Over the summer, Bibi and I watched the show Deadwood, which was about a town with no law and no order. Well, no LEGAL order.

Now we're watching the show "Oz" on DVD. It's about prisoners, guards, and the entire correctional system.

A couple of years ago, I read a book, the title completely escapes me, but it was a collection of essays written by prisoners, many of whom were jailed for political reasons, but not all.

When I was in college I did prison ministry with my college religous organization, CCF. We went to a maximum security prison in Iowa a couple of times to meet with prisoners in a new religiously-affiliated prison rehabiliation program.

And, the most randomly connected experience, I have been in training for two weeks for the discipline system at my school.

All of these things call to mind the question that I put forth to you, my faithful readers, now...
What, in your opinion, should the goal or purpose of the Prison System in the United States be? Should our goal be punishent? Should our goal be entirely punitive? Or should we focus our energies on rehabilitation? And, if, as I suspect many of you will feel, it should be a mixture of these two goals, how in the world do you suggest we do that?

A couple of stats to start us off:
1 in 27 people in the United States is either in prison right now, or has spent time in prison. The recidivism rate for offenders is 75%. (Incidently, the rate is identical for students who have been suspended in the public school system; 75% of those who have been suspended are suspended more than once.)

So...there you go. What say you, blog-readers?

Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to your responses...

Tommy

Procrasti-what now?

EDITED: With Pictures!!!

So, I must confess, loyal reader, that the reason I haven't posted in almost three weeks is not entirely due to my hectic schedule and the ninety five meetings I have to go to each day....er, uh...week. I've been avoiding posting because I set the expectation during my last post that I was going to post about books this time around.

Note: I just checked my last blog, and I actually didn't mention anything about books, so apparently that was just an internal expectation, so...uh, I guess I have no decent excuse. My bad.

Anywho, for those who know me, or who have read the beginnings of this blog, you will know that I am somewhat of a reader...I like to read a bit. Ok, well, a lot. So, the idea of making an informal list called my "must list" of books, is a bit like John Cusack's character in High Fidelity making the ultimate mix tape. It can't be done. However, I'm going to try and suck it up here and put down at least the outline, or preliminary sketch of what my 'must-list' of books would be.

So, with that priviso in place, here we go...:

First, we're going to go with "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore. I know I've mentioned this author, and this book on this blog before, but it bears mentioning again. He's good. More to the point, that book cannot be described as good, because that would be like saying that Frank Lloyd Wright liked to tinker around with building stuff. Saying that "Lamb" is good is like saying that Jesse Owens was fast. It's like saying that I occasionally drink coffee. It just doesn't even come close to the level the book actually achieves. I'm not using hyperbole here, I'm just trying to speak truth. In fact, while this book does not replace the Bible, I would say that any Christian who wants to come to a clearer understanding of who Christ could have been, should read this book. Period.

Second, we're going with Blue Highways, by William Least Heat-Moon. This is the book that inspired my road trip a few years ago. It is the book that Jack Kerouac was TRYING to write, and didn't. The way I usually describe it is this: Heat-Moon was a professor at Missou in the 70's, and got laid off. So, he got in his little bus, and drove all around the country on the "blue highways" (non-major roads). Along the way he meets people, sees the country, and goes through his own internal journey. Heat-moon was a professor of English, so he brings a myriad literary illusions to his work, and he is Native American, and he brings to his work a certain level of natural spirituality that connects the mundane (driving all around the country) to the spiritual. (Put another way, he connects the profane--that which is NOT holy--to the sacred--that which is holy.) Go...read it. (And, John...if you still read this blog...you actually have my copy, so seriously, you have no excuse not to read this book, ok?)

Third, and lastly for this post, Watership Down, by Richard Adams. This is ostensibly a book about bunnies. However, unless you're as dense as a post, you'll understand that this is more of a retelling of the exodus than an rabbit tale.

Ok. I'm tired...it's late, and I have work in the morning. So, I'm going to go to bed. I promise you that I will update again, and I will have more books that you should read at that time. In the meantime, though, if you would like to add to my list of musts, be it must listens, must sees, or must reads, please do so in the comments. I'd love to hear 'em.

Til then...here are some pictures of Grace, courtesy of Bibi's blog...














Thanks for stopping by.



Tommy

The (Un)Official List....uh, continued.

So, yesterday we discussed movies and tv shows. Today, we're switching to songs, artists, and records.

SONGS:

A little song called Silver Sword, by a little band named Huckleberry. Unfortunately, you all are at a loss here. The band broke up when I was in college, and it was relatively unknown college band, but a friend of mine's older brother was in the band, and the lead female singer went on to join the Christian band Waterdeep. However, should you ever stumble on someone who has the song Silver Sword, you should definitely check it out.


You Can't Always Get What You Want--the Rolling Stones. I learned this lesson once while driving with a girl that I really liked, who didn't really like me. She was telling me all about her new boyfriend (who she is now married to, by the way) and this left me feeling pretty damn bad about myself. (Oh, woe is me, etc.) Then, I noticed a little ditty playing on my car radio, and I kind of tuned her out, and listened to the lyrics. I realized, in a fairly profound way, that it was very true...while I may have "wanted" her at that time, it really wasn't what I needed. (And, as both she and I are wonderfully happily married to VERY different people, we both got EXACTLY what we needed....thank God.)

I'm Alright--Jeffrey Foucault. I've mentioned this guy numerous times here, but it bears repeating. This just happens to be my favorite song by him.

Feelin' Good Again--Robert Earl Keene. Yes, it's country. Yes, it's a country slowish song. And, yes, it just so happens to sum up every single emotion you can possible feel when going "back" to a place you love to visit.

Ok, in all honesty, this is an EXTREMELY introductory list, and is in NO way exhaustive. (Clearly, as I've only put four songs down.) So, we'll return to this list later.

ARTISTS

Jeffrey Foucault--again, I ask. Why haven't you gotten his CD's yet? SERIOUSLY!

Frank Sinatra--if you didn't like him while he was alive, check his stuff out now. I particularly like his fast stuff, but his slow songs were great, too.

The Racounteurs--Jack White's "other" band.

Colin Hays--he was originally one of the "men at work" from the 80's, and he's made some great stuff recently.

And, finally (for now!), The Who. I was, embarrassingly enough, turned on to the Who when there was a Simpson's episode about the Who coming to Springfield. When I was in college. LATE in college. Maybe even grad school. (D'oh!) I ran out after the episode and bought the Who's greatest hits album, and Whoa! It's freakin' Great!

Which leads me to....
ALBUMS/RECORDS/CD's

The Garden State Soundtrack--if you don't have it by now you should be ashamed of yourself and your entire music collection. Period.

Scrubs Sountrack--oddly enough, most of the music in this show was compiled by Zach Braff, just like on The Garden State Sountrack. So, guy's got taste.

Jimi Hendrix: The Jimi Hendrix Experience--great, just great.

The Beatles "Love" Album--this record was put to gether by Cirque de Solei (don't everyone write me to complain about my spelling of that freakishly weird Circus group's name) for one of their shows. All of the songs are just tweaked a LITTLE bit, and man does it make a difference.

Ok, I actually have to go run to get ready for work, but now its your turn again....

What did I miss, where did I TOTALLY screw up?

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

The (Un)Official Tommy Must List...

After receiving no requests whatsoever, other than that of my own inner narcisist, I thought I would write down for you all, my semi-capitive audience (no, please! Don't navigate away from this page!!!) my very own "Must List". (Author reserves the right to modify, amend, delete, and edit without prior notice.)

So, without further adieu....
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MOVIES:

Joe vs. the Volcano--This is an extremely underated little film, which just so happens to be the first time that America's sweethearts were paired together. (Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.) Yes, it does happen to contain a lot of silly humor, (although not bathroom humor) and yes, it does happen to be "about" a guy who decides to jump into a volcano. But, that's not REALLY what the movies about. It's about the path that we all must choose when we make our way through life. And, it's about how accepting we are of the path that we see in front of us. It's about making conscious choices about our lives.

And it's got a ukulele!

The Last Time I Committed Suicide--This is a strange pick for me. It's a movie based on the letters from Neal Cassidy to Jack Kerouac, both of whom were "beat poets". You see, I personally think that Jack Kerouac was one of the most overrated authors of all time, and his "masterpiece" On the Road was a horribly overrated book. While it did capture the frenzy of Jack's lifestyle, it was not, for me, this moving and poignant story of dreams and desires, pain, and heartache. It was about a bunch of guys who drive around with only one thing on their minds: Drugs.
And, I have nothing against drug use IN BOOKS, but it has to be important to the story, and the story has to be worthwhile. This one? In my opinion, not so much.
However, TLTICS, is not about all of that. It is about how the choices we make effect all future choices in a very profound way, and that when you make a life altering choice, it can, basically, "kill" the self you wanted to become, and force you to become someone different. Hence, the line, "It wasn't the last time I committed suicide."
Plus, it has the great quote "And so life goes. And so love goes. And so I go. Carry on my brother. Carry on." which was used by some of my friends as the closing to all of our e-mails back when I was in college.


The Journey of Natty Gann--Great little Disney movie about the Depression. John Cusack (you can't go wrong) and Meridith Salinger (whatever happened to her?!) and a wolf. There you go.

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TV SHOWS


Sporst Night--Without a doubt, the finest half-hour television show that has ever been produced, and in my opinion, the finest that WILL ever be produced. Funny, smart, emotionally intelligent, this half hour show that survived for all of two-Emmy-Winning-Seasons was written by Aaron Sorkin, and covered much more than the inner-workings of a Sports Center-esque television show. This show brought up many issues that we face in life, and I STILL get choked up watching about 6 of the 40-some episodes. (E.g.: The Apology, The Six Southern Gentlemen, The Christmas Episode, Isaac's Comeback episode, just to name a few.) The show also brought about the most satisfying conclusion of any show I've ever seen, when it found that it was going to be cancelled during the second season. I still get goosebumps.

Plus, it's one of the most quotable tv shows ever.

"Oh, and if you're driving to the stadium this weekend for the big game, please...don't forget to take your car."

My Boys--I've already mentioned this in this blog, but seriously....if TBS doesn't put this show on DVD, then I'm going to...uh, write them a strongly worded letter suggesting that they do so. Quickly.

And, of course: Lost, Scrubs, The Office, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, and probably a BUNCH more, but as the title says...this is the (un)official list.

Now, I didn't realize that this was going to be so extensive....so, more to follow, including Books, CDs, magazines, records, and more.

But for now....what movies and shows have I aggregiously forgotten to place on my list....?

Now, it's your turn!

Leave me your musts....

(And, thanks for stopping by....)

Tommy

Just another manic Mond....uh, Tuesday. (Or, Question: Does baby puke sting?)

So, the weekend was great. Went back to Iowa, saw the folks, and had some time with good friends back in good ol CR of I.

School was good today, although the first tuesday of every month is going to suck donkey...um, snot....as I start the morning with a 7:30 (AM!!) meeting, have a full day of school, a faculty meeting til 5, and a PTA board meeting, which I am required to attend, at 6:15. Now, you don't really know how much you love holding your daughter and seeing your wife's beautiful face until those days when you don't actually get to do either one of those.

Ughs.

Tonight, after my 6:15 meeting, I was changing Grace's grotesquely large poo-y diaper, and was loving it, as she looked up at me with that gorgeous toothless grin on her face. I finished snapping the onesie, and picked her up. I held her up to my face, giggled with her, and gave her eskimo kisses (rubbed noses) and then lifted her slightly higher to kiss her tummy.

That's when she puked in my eye.

And, if you were wondering, yes. Yes it does.

I cried out in surprise, Grace started crying, as I startled her, and Bibi laughed.

Good times....good times.

Thanks for stopping....have a freakin' great week ya'll. (Mom, that "ya'll" was just for you.)

Tommy

Bi-monthly update...

just under the wire, too, eh?

Well, school has started. And, when I get a hang of things, I'll let you all know how things are going. (Should be in just a few months. June at the very latest.)

Grace is WONDERFUL. She's so cute. I'm not going to lie. When I got home today....I started to cry...I missed her so much while I was at work. She's so sweet.

Anywho, just wanted to drop you all a line to let you know that I am indeed still alive and well.

And, for those of you who don't know about it, there's a show called "My Boys" on TBS. On the show tonight, there was a "douchebag intervention" to get one of the guys to stop being such a major league, free range, grade A douche. It was awesome.

Any thoughts from those of you out there? (I'm thinking that would be mom, sarah, maybe amy, and my in-laws at most. Anyone else still checking this sorry excuse for a blog?)

(c;

God bless ya....and, thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

Einstein's Theory of Relativity Explained....

Tonight it occurred to me that I have learned something recently.

When a baby is crying...and, I mean REALLY crying, cheeks all red, eye's squinched up, tears streaming down the cheeks, and that long, long cry that takes up all the little one's air, so that the cry is actually a quiet one, which makes it all the worse...that kind of crying....well, five minutes of that stuff can seem like an absolute LIFETIME of impotence and helplessness.

And the 5 and a half hours between when she finally falls asleep and you wake up to change her in the wee hours of the morning? Yeah, that seems like about 8 seconds.

See? Einstein's Theory of Relativity explained. Not too tough, if I do say so myself. (c;

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

The dog days of summer....

If any of you have not read the first page of Tuck Everlasting, you really should; reason being is that the first page has this unbelievably descriptive depiction of the oppresive and stifling heat that usually arrives around this time of year. So....there ya go. Thought it was appropriate. Oh, and if you can't handle the heat (hardy har har) you should read Brian's Winter, by Gary Paulsen, as it it the same thing, 'cept about cold.

So, last time I posted was a while ago. I had just passed a kidney stone, and was leaving for family vacation the next day.

I have had not more kidney related issues, thank goodness, and so no more needs to be said about that. And, I'll thank you to mind your own business. (c;

Vacation was a lot of fun. Bibi, Grace and I drove south to Table Rock Lake, where we were meeting my mom, step-dad, my sister and her boyfriend, and my other sister and her girlfriend.

The drive down was mostly uneventful. Gracie was wonderful in the car, and did not cry excpet for the last half hour, (we got lost, otherwise, it would have been even less eventful.) I have to say, southern Missouri is definitely a beautiful area. The bluffs and hills, or...ahem, 'mountains', were all absolutely gorgeous. It was a wonderful drive.

We were staying at a really nice resort, and were pretty much able to enjoy ourselves the whole time and do whatever we wanted to. (You know, how vacactions SHOULD be.) I read, relaxed, and even played some putt-putt.

Good times, good times.

We came back last Thursday, and got lost again. Different part of the trip, but for about the same length of time. I'm a very good driver....yeah. Charlie Babbit.

Fast forward through to Monday, the 6th. Bibi dropped me off at work, and I got the opportunity to meet some of my new co-workers, and work on my classroom a little bit. Registration was Tuesday, so our principal had asked if any of the staff wanted to come in and help spruce things up a bit. It was fun. Didn't meet everyone, but enough so that I don't feel like a complete newbie anymore.

My classroom is AWESOME. It's HUGE. I have: two teacher's desks, a couch, two comfortable and relaxing reading chairs, a table for conferencing, extra desks arranged for partner reading, a sink and drinking fountain, desks and room for 30 students (although I only have 25) and, as was previously mentioned, two windows. Legen....(wait for it)...dary.

Tuesday we had our first day of New Teacher Orientation. It was during this day that we covered all of the necessary legal stuff: professional expectations, sexual harrassment, confidentiality, substitute teacher requests, sick days, personal days, etc. We also went on a "Raytown Scavenger Hunt to acclimate ourselves to the community. Met some new people during that, which was cool. (I have such a hard time meeting people....heh heh heh.)

Today we had day TWO of our four-day New Teacher Orientation. We spent the entire day getting prepped for the districts Communication Arts curriculum. (How the district expects you to teach reading, writing, etc.) We were able to plan the first month of one subject, and the first week to second week of another subject. We're going to be given already prepared lesson suggestions and helpful tips as well. Tomorrow we work on Math curriculum.

I will say this....the Raytown Quality School District has impressed me a great deal in my short time working here. They are thorough, and the provide a seemingly endless supply of supports to their teachers in order for the teachers to provide a seemingly endless supply of supports to their students. (You know, like they should!)

All right, kiddo's; I'm tired, and my bed is singing the siren song of comfort....

thanks for stopping by....

Tommy

Warning: NOT for those easily squeamish....

Two funny stories.

One: Around father's day I started having severe back pains that were reminiscent of what I've heard it's like when you have a kidney stone. I watched it for a little bit, drank water like it was wine, and watched my body carefully.

About a week ago, I started having painful urination, little to no urine and a CONSTANT urge to urinate. It was really uncomfortable, and VERY frustrating. Tonight, while brushing my teeth, I realized I was about to pop. I quickly put the toilet seat up and WHAM! The sharpest pain I've ever felt (in that location) was followed by the joyful and wonderous release of a VAST amount of backed up pee that was being blocked by a kidney stone the size of an elongated mung bean.

I feel much better now. Whew. (c;

Oh, the second story?

Tonight, while Bibi was nursing Grace, Bibi chuckled to herself and started speaking like the Crocodile Hunter. "Ah, there she is....she's a beauty! She's the Nipple Hunter! Argh!"

I dropped what I was doing and stared, jaw slackened, at my wife. Grace does this thing where she will open her mouth, take aim, and then shake her head vigorously from side to side like she's not sure where her prey is going. So, now...my daughter is known as, "The Nipple Hunter"

Heh heh heh...fatherhood. (c;

Thanks for stopping by...

Just a PSA: I'm going on vacation until Wednesday or Thursday, so I'll be away from the computer. Drop a note to let me know how ya'll are doing!!!

Tommy

Daddy moments...

Today Bibi was giving Grace a bath. I was in the bathroom, handing things to Bibi (soap, towel, etc.) trying not to get in the way, and I had a moment where I just stared at Grace...she was lying there in the tub, being held by Bibi and she just had this look on her face of sheer and utter contentment. She was making some silly faces, too, and kicking her legs everyonce in awhile, but mainly she was motionless just glancing between Bibi and I.

I couldn't help it...I teared up. She is the most precious and beautiful thing I've ever seen. Oh, man. It was awesome.

I stopped by my new classroom yesterday. It's huge (at least, it looked huge to me) and it has tile floors and....wait for it....windows!!! Two things: I've always been saddened by my last school's lack of windows in the classrooms. I thought it was a shame that the kids didn't have that chance to stare out the window and enjoy seeing the sky, the weather, the animals, etc. I remember very fondly every once in a while looking out the window at Arthur Elementary in good old SeeTheRabbits.

Oh, and I love classrooms with tile floors. Can't stand carpet in a classroom. Muffles the sound, and I have a hard enough time with out that to struggle against. So. There ya go.

Anyway, that's all I got right now....

God bless, and thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

Alas, dear Potter....

This too, shall pass.

Today, we mourn a great friend and loved one.

No, this is not a spoiler, I'm not sayin' Harry Potter died, and I"m not sayin' he didn't die. I'm sayin' the series is over, and that is sad for us.

The seventh book was amazing. If you didn't think so, well, you're probably illiterate, and you didn't know it. It was an immensly enjoyable read, and Bibi and I couldn't stop reading until the very last page. And then, all was well.

Thanks for stopping by, and feel free to leave your (SPOILER FREE!!!) comments about the HP series in the comments section.

Tommy

Harry Potter and the Magic of Reading

So...gotta question for ya'll.

Bibi and I are reading Harry Potter to Grace, (more to each other, but it's fun to read to a six week old, too) and we're anxiously waiting our chance to go to the fifth movie, and to receive the seventh book in the mail, which Bibi got me for my birthday.

So....here's the question....

any of my faithful readers belong to the hoardes who believe that Harry Potter is evil?

Can we have a nice respectful debate about the merits or liabilities of the enjoyment of this unbelievably popular series of books?

Let's begin the discussion, shall we?

Tommy

So there's this guy who has a blog...

that he only updates once in a blue moon. Sorry 'bout that. (c;

Anyway...what's up ya'll?

Is there anybody out there? (A little nod to Burlap to Cashmere)

So, what's going on with me? Well...

in the last two weeks Bibi and I have been enjoying our little bit o' Grace. She's growing up so quickly. She goes to college in just a few short months....oh, wait....no that can't be right.

She is now 5 and a half weeks old. She is as cute as ever....well, here--I'll show you...



Isn't she cute as a button?!

Anyway...this was taken back at Father's Day by my sister Amy. (Hi Amy!)

Other than staring adoringly at Grace and trading her back and forth and cleaning an OBSCENE number of diapers on a semi-regular basis, it's been pretty quiet at the Estlund homestead.

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago (as I mentioned in the last post) and I've been enjoying the post-birthday celebration. I bought myself a couple of books (Fireshouse by David Halberstam, and another copy of Blue Highways {the best book ever} by William Least Heat Moon because I've reconciled myself to the fact that...(ahem) a certain someone is most likely NOT going to give it back to me. John, I'm looking at you buddy. Hey! Don't you look away from me!

Ahem, sorry about that.

Oh, and as a kind of special treat--as is fitting for a birthday present--I got myself a mini-fridge.

Let me explain.

My gorgeous and lovely wife is a vegetarian. She was raised vegetarian and, as I found out during our dating/engagement, to her, meat is not just something she doesn't eat....it's an absolutely repulsive and disgusting thing that she absolutely doesn't want in her fridge. And, as I got to know--and love--her, I realized that this was something that I could do out of love and respect to her. (She also realized that she can love--and respect--me, even if I don't stop eating meat.

So, we now happily have a mini-fridge in our kitchen for all of my favorite meat based foods.

It's a beautiful thing, compromise, isn't it?

Oh, and we've been reading Harry Potter to Grace. We're on book four, trying frantically, and I'm willing to guess, hopelessly, to get through the rest of four, five and six before big number seven comes out. So, if you do read number 7, please for the love Hermione, Ron and Neville, please do not give away the ending, ok?

All right fair enough.

Ok....so, back in the days leading up to Grace's arrival in our lives, I had the hope that this blog was going to have some kind of miraculous metamorphosis into a "daddy-blog" that everyone could come see, in order to read all about the insight and deeply profound lessons that I'm learning as I make my way down this new path.

I'm realizing that those lessons aren't as earth-shattering as I thought that they would be.

She poops.
She poops a LOT.
She sleeps a lot--when we're awake, and she is awake when we'd kind of like to be asleep.
She smells good, though. That's amazing.
She likes her mama's touch a bit more than mine, which is ok, because I"m still a bit uncomfortable with the whole "holding a baby" thing.
I'm really shaky on my feet at 3:30 am when it comes time to changing her diaper mid-feeding. (And, that shakiness can lead to the horrible fear that I'm going to drop my beautiful daughter, which, in turn reiterates my discomfort when it comes to holding said baby, which just perpetuates the shakiness at....well, you get the picture.)
A 9 pound baby gets surprisingly heavy after awhile.
It is only after Bibi comments that Grace hasn't pooped or peed on me in a while, that she will indeed, poop, pee, and then VOMIT on me, all within ten minutes of said comment. (We did a lot of laundry that day.)
There was a time, and, we're talking like six weeks ago, that I would have changed clothes if my shirt had gotten dirty before leaving the house. That time is no more. I went the store, my new favorite coffee shop, the library, and back to my house before realizing that I had Grace's spit-up all over the front of my shirt the other day. And I didn't care.

She is absolutely, withiout without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

And, Bibi and I were very pleasantly surprised, after having everyone tell us how much Grace looks like me, when we opened up one of her parents photo album, and saw a picture of Bibi when she was a newborn--and it looked as if she was Grace's identical twin. Good for Grace--I don't think I'd make a pretty girl.

All right, faithful readers...I promise I''ll try to come up with some lessons from fatherhood for you.

Thanks for stopping by....

Tommy

PS: I reread this and was going to edit the insane number of typos that I found, but I realized that that was another lesson.....lack of sleep can cause typoes.

One and one makes three....

Hey everyone....my better half is a MUCH better writer than I am...so I thought I would give you a link to her blog, so that you could read her account of our beautiful daughter Grace's birthstory.

So, go here.

And, well....uh.....that's all.

More later!

Tommy

So...a Democrat, a Republican and Ross Perot walk into a bar....

I just took a little quiz over at okcupid.com, and...apparently, I'm a Social Liberal, an Economic Liberal...and, unbeknownst to me, I've been harboing some latent Socialist tendencies all these years.

Huh.

Who'd a thunk it?

Oh, and Baby Gracie is doing well. She's a joy and she's started becoming more and more aware of the world around her. She found her hand the other day. That was cool...

more pics and more updates to come...

guess what this Friday is?

(c;

Thanks for stopping by!!!

Tommy

Exploding Poo and other joys of Fatherhood....

So, in one of my previous posts, I told you all about how Grace had poo'ed all over Bibi, and that she had peed on me. Great fun right?

Well, yesterday, I was a bit worried about Grace. She had been fussy all day. She looked upset...she looked concerned...she looked...well, not to be too paranoid, but she looked like she was in pain.

Last night, right before I took Leo for his walk, I went in to change Miss Gracie. I was chatting with her, just loving the fact that I get spend time with her, when her face scrunched up...she was making a very frustrated, strained face.

And then...

It happened.

There was poo...well, everywhere. The wall, the towel under her, my arm, my hand, I'm pretty sure that had I been leaning any closer, I'd have gotten a good amount of that crap in my mouth. (Pun, obviously intended. (c; )

And, afterwards?

Miss Grace was just all smiles. Apparently, she HAD been in pain. Gas pain, poo pain, whatever you'd like to call it...she was feeling...uh, pressure. (c;

And, just like that, she wasn't.

And, for those of you who were waiting...here are some more pictures....

Here's Grace and her puppy Leo. He loves her so....




And this one is, obviously of Gracie sleeping.

The Rebirth of Slick...

I'd like to thank everyone who has read and responded to the last post. I appreciate all of your thoughts and ideas, and I respect the validity of all of them, while I may not necessarily agree. And, with that in mind, I'd like to extend my previous post, and go into depth a little bit more...

One of the interesting themes that has come through quite clearly is the idea that my wife and I should be glad, we should be thankful, that our baby, and my wife, are both healthy and that, in the end, that is all that matters. On the flip side, it's possible to see all of the obstacles and challenges that Bibi and I went through in the last week and to get bogged down entirely in those aspects of the birth of our first child. It would appear, unfortunately, that we have to diametrically opposed outcomes, wouldn't it?

I would like to propose a third...

And, in order to begin this third option, I need to clarify just a bit what was going on in our brains last week...we were a flood of varying feelings and thoughts. The idea that I mentioned in the last post, that of "mourning the loss of expectation" comes in here. Let me explain.

Bibi and I were deeply saddened by the fact that we were going to have to have a c-section. It is a mere truth that we were holding on beyond all hope that we might be able to have a natural childbirth experience, free of medical intervention. We spent the better part of Monday night, Tuesday, and some of Wednesday, mourning the loss of this hope. It was an intimately and closely held desire that we both had, and those die painfully, and slowly.

During this time of mourning, it did NOT go unnoticed that a c-section may indeed be the very thing that would save both my child's, and my wife's, life. It was with a very profound sense of appreciation and gratitude that Bibi and I willingly consented to the c-section, as we recognized that this is very likely the reason that we as a people are able to do that kind of a procedure.

Indeed, what I have learned from this experience is that it is possible to be totally and completely overjoyed at the outcome, and heartbreakingly devasted by the means. While these two feelings might SEEM opposed...they are not mutually exclusive. You've got to be able to separate the "stuff", from the "stuff".

Thank you all, again, for reading, and stay tuned as I regale you all with tales of Grace's explosive poo that ended up all over Bibi (WITH PICTURES!!!) and how Grace was kind enough to poo and pee all over me this afternoon as I changed her diaper. (Thankfully, no pictures were found.)

Thanks all, and enjoy....and, as always....

thanks for stopping by.

Tommy

The Rebirth of Cool...

All right, race fans, you've waited long enough. It's been exactly one week since our beautiful daughter Grace Khalsa was born, and I've got a little time, so I thought I'd "grace" you all with a story. So, sit back, relax, and I'll tell you.

Way back, before Bibi and I even got married, we talked extensively about the many thoughts that we both had about pregnancy and about child-rearing. (Huh, communication....who'd a thunk it?) We knew that there were certain things that were really important to Bibi and me. (More for her than me, as I hadn't REALLY spent all that much time considering whether or not an episiotomy was a good thing or not....or, what an episiotomy was, in all honesty.)

So, we knew that we wanted to have a home birth. We wanted to utilize the services of a midwife, and that we wanted to have as natural a childbirth as possible--no medication, and as little medical intervention as possible. As we grew close to our due date, it become a very special thing...I really looked forward to participating in this beautiful metamorphosis and transition in to a new chapter in our lives.

However, as is often the case, God has different plans.

Last Monday, June 4th, Bibi noted that she had seen spots on three separate occasions that day. Due to her slightly higher blood pressure throughout the latter portion of her pregnancy, we were on the look out for pre-eclempsia symptoms, and she was now exhibiting some. (Seeing spots, headaches, and higher blood pressure.) We called our midwife, and she came over around 9. It was at this time that we decided that our midwife could go ahead and attempt to "encourage" labor, as Bibi was 38 weeks the next day. And it was during the "stripping of the membranes" that our midwife noticed something strange....instead of a head, she was feeling what was most likely the babies butt. This, to say the least, was not good.

Suzanne (the midwife) then recommended that we get a sonogram. Up until this point we had not had a sonogram, as it is still unclear what long term side-effects can occur. However, knowing if our baby was breech was important enough, and we agreed.

So, the next morning, Tuesday, June 5th, we went to KC Medical Imaging and had a sonogram performed. It was quite breathtaking to see our little one in there...eyes, nose, and mouth were all obvious, and he/she was sucking his/her thumb. However, he or she was indeed breech. (Upon leaving, Bibi began gushing about how gorgeous our little one was, and how precious the pictures they had given us of the baby were; I looked at her, and whan asked what I was thinking, answered completely honestly: That, in my opinion, the picture looked like proof positive that there really are aliens. It was, in all honesty, frightening. Of course, we thought that was hilarious, because I was kidding....wasn't I?) When we returned home, our midwife came over to suggest certain techniques that could possibly help in getting the baby to turn over. These consisted of playing music for the baby, with speakers down near Bibi's pelvis, having Bibi lay upside down on an ironing board with a bag of frozen peas (in our case spinach) at her breastbone and two burning "moxa sticks" next to her pinky toes. Suzanne, at some point during the day informed us that, if we weren't able to turn the baby, we would most likely have to go to the hospital and have a c-section. This was obviously as far from the outcome we were hoping for, and it was disheartening to say the least. We were then instructed to go to a pool and to have Bibi stand on her head. We did so.

Around 6 o'clock, when we came back from the pool, Bibi started having some contractions, and she had not felt the baby flip over. She decided to have a bath, and try to relax. It was during this bath that Bibi noticed that her mucus plug had come out. This meant that labor was most likely to begin very soon. We waited a while, realized that Bibi's contractions were only getting stronger, and called Suzanne again. She told us that we should get ourselves to the hospital at once so that they could give Bibi an IV to try to stop/slow the contractions to buy us more time.

We packed a bag, piled Leo into the car, and headed for Bibi's folk's house to drop Leo off. We then drove to the hospital. It was a strangely calm drive. We were both, as Bibi's mom Guruparwaz put it, "mourning the loss of expectation." We got to the hospital around 8:30 or 9, and an IV was inserted. We hung around the hospital, monitoring Bibi's contractions, and orienting ourselves to the waiting game we were beginning. Around 11:30 we were sent home, because the nurses said that Bibi's contractions had slowed down significantly. (This was news to us, as they had actually increased in frequency and intensity, but we were hungry and scared...what did we know?) So, we went back to Bibi's parent's house, and had a quick dinner, and then decided to stay there, as the contractions were exacerbated by riding in the car. Thus began one of the longest nights of our life....

The contractions came every 6 minutes from 11:45 pm, and increased to every five minutes the next morning. Realizing that things were progressing, that we had run out of time to get the little one to flip over, we headed back to the hospital, tired, but at peace with what was most likely going to be the outcome.

Checked in by 8 o'clock am Wednesday, June 6, we spent all morning, and all afternoon discussing baby names, calling family members, and accepting what was coming. Our midwife informed us, through a doctor at the hospital, that there was one more option...performing a "version" to get the baby to move. What this entails is this: in an operating room, the doctor would attempt to physically push the baby, from the outside, around in the womb. We were told that we would do this after Bibi had had an epidural, so that if the need arise, we could jump right into an "emergency c-section". Wanting to be sure and exhuast all reasonable avenues, we agreed.

At approximately 5:00pm, the anesthesiologist arrived and gave Bibi the epidural. I was given a set of scrubs so that I could go into the OR with Bibi. We wheeled Bibi down the hall way, and entered the OR. The physicians were all leisurely ambling about getting ready for this procedure. Both Bibi and I were wracked with nerves, excitement and worry. The version began, and it was as horrible to watch as one might suspect....the doctor was literally wrenching Bibi's belly, and the baby. After what seemed like about 10 minutes, the doctor noted that the baby's heartbeat had dropped unacceptably low, and it was time to move on. Instantly the lacksadasiqual atmosphere was no more; doctors and nurses snapped into action and the c-section had begun. Bibi was immediately frightened by the fact that she could still feel everything that was going on, and did not want the operation to begin if she was going to feel the incision. The doctors informed her that it was perfectly normal that she could feel "some things" but she would not feel the incision. This was not a great deal of comfort to either of us.

The c-section began after a curtain was placed in front of Bibi and I. Periodically I would peer over the curtain to see what was happening on the other side. I would not recommend doing so. Ostensibly, a c-section consists of making a "small" incision in the woman's abdomen, and removing the baby. What they don't tell you, and the tv shows don't show you, is the amount of exertion it takes on the doctors part to pull the skin of the abdomen back, so that the other doctor can reach in and rip the baby out, in what can only be described as a terribly violent and utterly unnatural "procedure".

Our baby was "removed", or born, at 5:57 pm, on June 6th, 2007. At that time, we found out that we were indeed the proud parents of a baby girl. She was whisked away from us, to the other side of the room so that they Newborn Nurses could clean her up. (They had been instructed NOT to clean the vernix off, as it is an excellent protectant if massaged into the babies skin.) I was confused as to why it was taking so long to get her back over to us, as we wanted to put the baby to Bibi's breast as soon as possible, so that she might benefit from her mother's milk. After 11 minutes, I was asked if I would like to see my daughter...I of course said yes, and told Bibi I would only be gone for a minute.

I walked over to see my daughter and was just amazed...she was grotesque. (And, of course beautiful, but let's be honest here....newborn infants are NOT cute...they are covered in vernix, and have just gone through one HELL of an experience....vaginal birth or c-section, it doesn't matter. She was gross. Beautiful, to be sure, but gross none the less.)

It was there that I was informed that the nurses had not been able to ween her off of oxygen yet; they had tried at 5 minutes, and had been unsuccessful. It was actually as I was standing there that she was weened finally. They brought our daughter over so that Bibi could see her, and the nurses informed us that she would need to be taken to the newborn nursery and given a bottle of formula, because her blood sugars were low. (50 is the minimum, and she was at 41.) Scared, confused, and wracked with doubts, we agreed. I reluctantly left Bibi to go with my daughter.

In the newborn nursery, our baby was given a bottle of formula--and thirty minutes to increase her blood sugars to at least 50, according to the Nurse Practitioner Tammy. At the end of the 30 minutes, her blood sugars were down to 30. She was going up to be placed in the NICU immediately.

I had to go and tell Bibi. That was one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. To make that walk, actually from the NICU, down the hallway, right to the elevators, down one floor; out the elevator past the "families waiting room", take a right, a left, walk passed the nurses station, and to our room. To do all of that, knowing that I have to tell my wife, my sweet, beautiful wife, who has just gone through hell that our little girl was going to be out of her arms for who knows how long. Yeah, that sucked.

Bibi took the news well and we commenced getting her healed. We went up to the NICU about 9:00 that night, and were able to see her. And, this began a whole new chapter for us at the hospital. The NICU nurses were....well, less than what you would hope for.

One of the things that Bibi has been looking forward to most of all, is breastfeeding our baby. She sees it as an amazingly powerful and intimate link between the mother and child, something that nothing else can replace. Also, it's much healthier for the baby, as it is exactly what the baby needs, when it needs it. So, you imagine how hard it was for Bibi when we found out that our girl was going to be put on formula. (Babies who are bottle fed before being put to breast have an increased likelihood of experiencing difficulty in learning how to breastfeed later on.) This can be compounded if a pacifier is used; it's called Nipple Confusion, and we had specifically told one of the nurses who was in the OR that our baby was NOT to get a pacifier.

So, it was a little difficult when we, finally, were able to go to see our baby girl, and she was lying there, surrounded by tubes, wires, cords, and an IV of glucose, and a pacifier stuck in her little mouth. It may not seem like that big of a deal, but, when you go from seeking a homebirth, with no medical intervention, to an unplanned c-section with a baby in the NICU, it would be nice to have SOME say in the treatment of your child, you know? Bibi politely mentioned that we didn't want her to have a pacifier, and the nurse immediately bristled, as if to say, who the hell are you? (Uh....the child's mother?) Then, as was perfectly within her rights, Bibi asked about getting a chance to breastfeed. The nurse, who was already upset, apparently thought that this was the most unreasonable request imaginable, and responded by saying something along the lines of, "well, if you really want to do that, it will most likely result in having a feeding tube placed in the babies throat." She then proceeded to tell us that having too much stimulation would negatively impact our baby and that we should limit our time up there. (How 'bout letting the new parents have, oh, I don't know, some time with their child?!)

Thursday, Bibi and I divided our time between our room, with our families, and Grace's little area in the NICU, avoiding the nurse from the previous night, and the periodic lectures from other nurses. We began making our every four hours trip to the NICU so that Bibi could nurse Grace, followed by Bibi and I using the breast pump so that we could get as much of Bibi's milk to the nurses to supplement the formula they were using.

Friday Bibi and I were told that Grace was doing much better, and that her numbers were pretty consistantly in the upper 50s, with a couple of tests in the low 60's. We were told that there was a chance she would be released to the main floor sometime that day. Around 4 oclock in the afternoon we were told that all Grace needed was two scores trending up towards 60 and she would be good to go. It didn't matter what time it happened, even if it was 3 in the morning. We were ecstatic. I even glanced at Grace's chart and saw it myself. However, at midnight, her last two scores had been 56 and 54, consecutively. The nurse, who was a new one, told us that she had been told that the nurse practitioner had decided that Grace needed two scores ABOVE 60. Bibi and I were shocked. The new nurse, who was indeed just doing her job, walked away, visibly uncomfortable with how upset we were. Bibi and I just looked at each other, shocked, and unable to move. Finally, I snapped out of it, and said, "I'll be right back." I walked out of Grace's cubby, and turned towards the nurses station. Our nurse, Pam, was talking to the Nurse Practitioner, Tammy. Pam came out, saw me (and the intense look on my face), paused, and then came over. She began to try to speak, but I interrupted her, "It's obvious that I'm very upset. I want you to know that I am in no way upset with you. I am, however, very upset with this situation. I've seen the chart myself, and I know that the chart did not say two scores above 60. The chart said two scores trending toward 60. Now, obviously, 56 and 54 are not trending toward 60, so it would be wise for Grace to stay up here now. However, I'm just a little bit, and I feel legitimately so, concerned that when I come up here tomorrow, I'm going to be told that she needs two scores above 65. Or two scores above 70. What stock can I put into what I'm being told, if the doctor's recommendations are being overruled?"

Tammy, having overheard all of this, came out of her office, and came over to talk to me. She then explained that, there had been new research done, and that 60 was now the new minimum, and that some doctors were still using the old information, but they were going to go by the new information. (Apparently she forgot that she was the one who told me 50 in the first place, back on Wednesday. ) However, Tammy went on, since Grace seemed to be doing well, as long as our nurse Pam didn't mind coming down to our room every 4 hours and testing the blood sugars there, Tammy didn't see why Grace couldn't come down with us then. (And the crowd goes wild...!)

So, Friday night, at midnight, Grace was released to our care, down on the third floor, just so long as Pam would continue to check her blood sugars. It was the sweetest sleepless night of my life. All day Saturday we continued checking her blood sugars, rejoicing in her 68, her 74, her 71. It was wonderful.

And, at 3:30, we were told that Grace would be discharged from the hospital after having just one more "short" test performed. We gladly agreed, and the nurse wheeled Grace into the Newborn Nursery. Three "short" hours later, Grace was returned to us, and we began gathering our belongings. We had one last good laugh before we left; Bibi's dad, mom, and my mom all crouched on the floor, trying to figure out our new carseat, me standing behind the car seat, instructions in hand, trying to get a word in edge-wise, and Bibi laughing hysterically at the expression on Grace's face; Bibi said it was something along the lines of, "what the heck are you people trying to do?!"

We piled our belongings into our cars, and proceeded to make the longest 15 mile-an-hour-drive-in-a-forty-five-mile-an-hour-zone ever. I once asked a friend in college, who had just become a dad, does your driving change over night? Do you automatically get better, more careful, safer?

The answer?

Hell yeah, you do.

And, that's our story...so far.

Thanks for your patience, and thanks for stopping by....

Tommy

Picture number 2 of 1,000,000

Rest assured, the story will come, but for now...

Amazed by Grace....

Hey! Here's a picture of my daughter. (c;

A brief update...

Two things....

1.) I have a job! I left Kirksville last Thursday, and had two interviews lined up that afternoon. I thought they both went well, but I liked one of the schools a great deal more than that other one, for a number of reasons. The principal there said that he was going to call me back either that night or the next morning, but I imagined it would probably be much later...like, this week sometime. However, as Bibi and I were discussing that fact, my cell phone rang, and it was that very principal asking if I would like to take a fifth grade position at his school next year. (I said I would like that very much.)

2.) We had to rewire our phone jacks b/c they were a) old and busted, and b) just old. With my father-in-law's help and guidance we rewired the lines in the bedroom and the kitchen. And, after having him explain what I should do in the office, I rewired and connected the jack there. And, that, my faithful readers, is why I am now able to post this! Whoo hoo!

3.) Bibi and I are expecting our newborn any freakin' day now....

stay tuned for frequent-ish updates.

Tommy

It's Story Time!

So, hey!

As my title would suggest, it's story time gang! So, sit back and relax and let me tell you all a WONDERFUL story!

Once upon a time there was a young man who was living a very good life in a small town. He was married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and was getting ready to become a father for the first time, and he could not have been more excited. He was so happy about his wife being pregnant, and his wife was happy, and everyone was happy.

This young man was also very happy in his chosen profession. He was a teacher. He was working in the same school that he had started working in, and was very happy. Except, well, he was having doubts. He wasn't sure that he was doing as well as he could have been doing. He was reflecting back on this time as a teacher, (almost five years he had been teaching) because he was getting ready to move to a new city.

Everyone told him what a great teacher he was, but he had some secret doubts. He knew that he cared, but caring and a quarter will get you a cup of piss-poor coffee at a truck stop on I-35. He had been sure that he would get at least a few job offers in his new big city, and that the transistion would go very smoothly.

But, it hadn't gone smoothly.

He had gotten a screening interview in the Big Fancy School District and then hadn't heard a thing for 3 months. (And, that felt like an eternity!!)

He was starting to suspect that maybe he had put all of his eggs in one basket, and then grace-lessly dropped that egg-filled basket off a very high buildling.

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-plop!!!!

And, with these new dark doubts plaguing our young man's mind, he started thinking back on all of the students that he'd had over the years....

and of one student in particular.

Our teacher had started his teaching career with a very special class of students. They were all wonderful and unique creatures, blessings from God, to be sure, but our teacher saw them more like a plague of hissing cats. They were always egging each other on, acting out, pushing, bickering, and in general not acting like our teacher thought his first class would act. And, in this class, there was one young man. This young man had come from an exceptionally trying background, with a lurid family life, a horrifying school experience, and failures and stumbling blocks far too numerous to recount in this short story.

Our teacher knew of this young man's challenges, and he also knew of his pattern of acting out in the classroom. Our teacher wanted to be different for this student. Our teacher wanted to make a difference in this young man's life. Our teacher wanted to be that teacher who would help this student see that things could be different; that he could succeed. Throughout the course of the school year, there were any number of conflicts between student and teacher. The student even told the teacher that he was an asshole. He said that the teacher should get a different job, that he shouldn't be a teacher at all. The teacher refused to give up on, or let up on this student, and the student, as students are wont to do, refused to give up, too. This continued on all year long, teacher pushing the student, student pushing back at the teacher, and so on. The teacher continued to try to make a difference and, probably tried to write something meaningful in the students yearbook at the end of the year, hoping--most likely in vain--that it would have some kinf of a sustaining impact on the young boy.

And, in time, those struggles, those attempts at reaching the young student, got lost in a sea of attempts and struggles for our teacher.

And then, one day, long after that young boy had been removed from the school district, long after he had been committed to the juvenile detention system of that particular state, about the time our young teacher was worrying about whether or not he would get a job in his new home, he received three very significant phone calls.

The first phone call was from a school in his new district asking him if he would like to come in for an interview. The second call came an hour and a half after that interview, from the principal asking him to come back for a second interview.

And the third phone call?

That call came when our teacher was finishing up packing up his house, getting ready to move to his new city.

The caller?

The young student from that first class.

He had been looking through his things, and had happened upon his old fifth grade year book, and he had seen that his teacher had written in it, "I wish you nothing but success in the future, and I know you can achieve it."

He was calling because he had gotten his G.E.D. (early!!) and was applying to go to radiology school in the fall. Oh, and he also wanted to apolgize for all the stuff he had done in the teacher's class.

Our teacher chuckled, dumbstruck, and told his long lost student that it was quite all right, and that he was just very glad to hear from him.

They chatted for a while and said their goodbyes. And, as is often the case, the student would never realize the impact he would have on this one teacher.

And that, my faithful readers, is story time for today.

Thanks for stopping by.

Tommy

Random picture....

I found this picture on the interwebs the other day...thought I'd share it with you all. It's a picture that was taken during the winter (obviously) by the local newspaper.

More soon....

I ain't no fortunate son...

I believe I've mentioned my music project with my class before, and I wanted to update you all on something pretty cool that happened last week.

Last week my song was Fortunate Son, by Creedence Clearwater Revival, and the kids were really enjoying it. (They've enjoyed the music a whole lot more now that we're (mostly) done with classical music, but that's ok...:) ) Anyway, in Social Studies we were finishing up the beginning unit on the Civil War. We were talking about all of the events leading up to the Civil War, the strengths and weaknesses of both sides during the war, and the attitudes and behaviors of both the south and the north during the Civil War. One of the issues we addressed was the fact that civilians in both the south and the north were able to evade the draft by either owning a certain number of slaves, or by buying your way out of the war. We discussed whether or not this was fair, what it meant to the poor and underprivileged, etc. Well, in a flash, like a...uh, (ahem) surge, it hit me...the song fit perfectly with this aspect of American History. I printed off the lyrics to the song, had my class read them as I played the song, and watched as they began to make the connection between the song and our discussions of the Civil War. Some kids asked if the song was written about the Civil War. I explained the connection to the Viet Nam war, and the correlation between the song, and both wars. Then, to culminate that particular part of the class, I sat back and reveled in what I was seeing...20 ten, eleven, and twelve year olds singing along with CCR and really getting it. It was truly something special.

Oh, and for those of you who don't know, I allow my students to get my attention when I'm unable to attend to them by saying "O Captain, My Captain". One of my students had checked out a book on Civil War poetry and songs. She found the Whitman poem (O, Captain! My Captain!) about Lincoln, and excitedly showed it to me, as if I didn't already know about it. I read the poem to the class, we discussed what it meant, and for the first time, my students smiled just a bit deeper when proclaiming, O Captain, My Captain!

It's been a good couple of days in class, to say the least.

Anyway, I've been working on my playlist of songs for "Music Time". I know I asked for suggestions before, but...any new ones?

And, as always, thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

April is the cruelest month...

Sad news from the literary world. David Halberstam, one of my all-time favorite authors was killed today in a car accident.

When I was a sophomore in college, I was given the opportunity to have dinner with this remarkable man, along with a number of other students. I was able to sit at his table and talk with him about his many books, his illustrious career, and his time as an embedded journalist during the Viet Nam War. I left that meeting with a profound appreciation for his work, and I have enjoyed absolutely every book I have read by him.

If you haven't read any of his work, I highly recommend you give it a try.

To David Halberstam: a man with class, a humanitarian, and a great author; you will be missed.

Thanks for stopping by....

Tommy

Strangers in the Night...

A funny thing happened tonight...

A VERY funny comedian, by the name of Zack Galifianakis was performing at Truman. I used to watch his show when I was in college all the time, and my old roommate Brad was a HUGE fan. However, both Bibi and I felt totally wiped out by the week/weekend, and we were unable to get tickets to see him. I was kinda bummed by it, but at the same time, knew that we both needed a quiet night in.

So, around 9 we were walking Leo on our usual route, when my shoulder started hurting; I asked Bibi if it would be ok if we cut out the last leg of the walk so that we could get home. She, of course, said yes, and we turned to head back home. As we were passing the Truman faculty parking lot, I glanced to my left, and saw a very bearded man, dragging wheeled luggage behind him. I paused, and without thinking said, "Are you Zack Galifianakis?"

It was!

I asked if he minded if I introduced myself. He said sure. We walked over and I introduced myself and we kind of chatted a bit. He asked what brought me to Kirksville, and I said that I was a teacher here. I admitted that, while being a huge fan, I hadn't been able to see the show, and then asked how was it. He said it was pretty good, but, you know, these college audiences, some of the material just goes over their heads. But, as long as you curse a lot, they love you. (c;

He then asked for directions to a good restaurant, and I told him how to get to Il Spazio. We then finished walking Leo and came home.

So, that's how I met Zack Galifianakis.

More later...!

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy

Insert catchy title here.

Anybody know any songs about fathers? I like to title my posts with song titles, and I couldn't think of anything for this one.

Disclaimer: Rambling post about a lot of different topics, and containing a lot of gushy emotional stuff. Be warned.

You ever had one of those days, when things aren't all that great...I mean, don't get me wrong, they're far from bad, but it's just not THAT grea? And, then...outta nowhere, you have a glimpse of how blessed you REALLY are? I was sitting in my classroom today while my students were working on their assignment, thinking about the massive weight of things that have been kind of slowly creeping on top of me, and I thought about coming home tonight, and it hit me like a ton of bricks, (way more quickly and powerfully than that "woe" nonsense), how unbelievably happy I was that I got to GET to come home to this wonderful woman, this partner of mine. I honestly almost started crying at my desk I couldn't wait to come home to see my Bibi. It's a good thing, no? It brought to mind the lyrics from one of my favorite singers, one who I've already posted here back in November.

"Now is the time of collection
Now is the season undone
Now is the winter of my discontent
Made glorious summer
By your sun "

Jeffrey Foucault--Sunrise in the Rearview

Anyway.

Onward to other topics.

So, I've been thinking about fatherhood a lot lately. (Imagine that.) I was thinking back to a couple of years ago when I was visiting Kansas City and I was hanging out with a friend of mine who had recently become a father. He was a friend of mine from my freshman and sophomore year, who was the epitome of that goofy and great friend that I imagine everyone has freshman year of college...he was just this funny, cool, mildly wild (is that possible?) guy who was liked by everyone, but was in no way remotely "adult", you know? And, I remember VERY clearly watching him with his son...watching him change his son's diaper, play with him, relate to him...it was one of the most amazing things I've seen in some time. I mean, it really stuck with me. I can't wait to be that guy...to change diapers....to play with my child, to be....a dad. I. Can't. Wait.

And, speaking of that....I've been thinking about family, and parenthood, and such....and, it's been a whirlwind of thoughts....

For those of you who know me, who've read the earlier posts on this blog, etc, you know that I've kind of been stuck in this rebelliousness about family for sometime. I think everyone goes through it to some extent or another at some point in their life, but I think maybe my phase was a bit on the long side. Anyway...in this mindset I was pretty critical of my parents, of my childhood, of how I was raised, about family in general. It was a very strange thing, and it led to me having some pretty strong opinions about how I wanted to raise my kids. I read a really good book a couple of weeks ago called, "Fathering Right from the Start" about being a dad, and it really struck me. This is what I learned/realized.

I want nothing more than to be the kind of parent my mom, dad, and step-dad were. They parented with nothing but the purest intentions and motivations, and with nothing but love as the core of their decisions. They loved me, and my sisters, with all of their hearts and all of their minds and souls, and they wanted nothing more than the absolute best for us. And, my faithful readers, that is the kind of dad I want to be.

All right...those are just some thoughts I've had...feel free to comment. (I love getting comments.)

Tommy

Our House, in the middle of the street

Yep. We gotta house. We signed a one year lease, we get the keys next time we're in KC, and we're really excited about it. Bibi loves the three bedrooms, I love the garage, and Leo is going to LOVE the HUGE fenced-in backyard.

And baby? Well, baby's gonna love having a home all to ourselves. Baby's also gonna love the quiet residential neighborhood, the well huge shade trees, and the fact that we're not gonna have to live out of a cardboard box. (c;

Oh, and our midwife's appointment on Saturday was awesome. Everything is going along swimmingly, and as of right now the baby is entirely viable. (Which, you know, is a good thing.) We've been feeling our little one kick a LOT lately, and last night we could feel the babies legs/arms gliding under Bibi's belly. (say that three times fast: Bibi's belly, Bibi's belly, Bibi's belly. It's even hard to type fast!!!) And, let me tell you, there are few things in life MORE surreal than feeling a baby move under the momma's skin. Sheesh.

I know, I know, it's been almost, what, a fortnight since my last post? Much has happened. And, well, I don't even know where to start. So, I'll leave it up to you...

got any questions ya'll are wondering about?


Thanks for stopping by!

Tommy

Baby baby...

So, in reviewing my post from the other day, I realized that I kind of left something MASSIVE off the update. It's stupid, and I feel stupid for having done so.

Bibi is now 27 weeks. (For those of you guys out there, that's roughly 6 months along.) The baby is kicking up a storm now, and wakes Bibi a couple nights a week in her sleep. And, the weirdest part? You can actually SEE the damn thing from the outside. Yeah, that's right...it's wiggling around in there so much that you can see, with your eyes, little mounds moving around. It actually keeps reminding me of two VERY different movies.
1.) Alien, when the guy's really sick and then all of a sudden out pops the little angry alien creature spitting mad? Yeah, I keep thinkin' that's gonna happen, and it makes me very nervous.
2.) Spaceballs, the scene where the guy in the diner gets really sick and out pops the creepy little alien creature who starts singing and dancing, "hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime girrrrrrrl...", and it makes me very, VERY happy. ( I loved Spaceballs, what can I say!)

So, yeah, the baby is coming along fine, and we're both VERY excited.

This weekend two very good friends came into town unexpectedly, and it was a wonderful surprise. John, Becki, we had a great time Saturday night and lunch was fun, too. Bibi loved getting to meet you, and we'd love to hang out again. (You know, the next time you guys are in Missouri, or we're in Indiana. (c:)

Tonight, Bibi and I had just a wonderful time after our respective jobs were done. We both came home, realized that we were hungry, didn't really want to cook, and also really, really wanted to spend some time outside because it was so nice. So, we packed a pic-a-nic and walked to a grassy knoll near our house. We took some veggie burgers, chips and dip and some grapes and a blanket, and our awesome dog, Leo. We spread out the blanket, got Leo's bone, and sat down. I was a bit nervous about having Leo on our blanket with us, but, it was so cool...Leo sat there, and didn't even TRY to get our food while we enjoyed a lovely picnic in the sun. It was simply wonderful.

And, that reminds me, what are you all looking forward to with the dawing of Spring? (And, for those of you keeping track of my music project at school, Vivaldi's "Spring" is our song-of-the-week this week. I found it fitting.)

Thanks for stopping by...

Tommy